I had to turn the humidifier on today. That feels telling. As though the dry air has affected my sensibilities so thoroughly that I need to add moisture into the air to create a comfortable living space. I’d like to add that this is the first time in my adult life that I’ve needed to do this. In this action and others like it I am learning to be easy with myself.
I’ve slowed down a lot recently. To consider, to unpack. In this slowness I have found a curiosity that begs me to ask questions of myself that I had once glazed over. What does it mean to be gentle to one’s self? The old me would have internalized gentleness as weakness. A crack in the protective layer of my persona. To others this would give a visceral sense that made me seem stuck up and unapproachable. When in conversation I could easy loose control of my tone; to engage in debate rather than to converse. You’re probably sitting there shaking your head at me. Don’t worry, I’m shaking my head at me too.
One way that I’ve been turned to gentleness is in the act of taking care of myself. With physical gentleness; going to a restorative yoga class and being in touch with my physical body, or mental gentleness; as simple as allowing for compassion for myself. This caring could also be considered an expression of love. You can extrapolated then, that to be gentle is an act of self love.
I’m not a philosopher, but damn that hits deep. Have you ever stopped and considered if you are gentle with yourself? If the answer is a quiet but honest no, ask yourself if you need to turn on a humidifier, apparently it leads to self discovery.